Chapter 11: Kill the Filler: Stop Saying “Like,” “Just,” and “Whatever”

Imani Rhodes

Okay, Miles, “Um, I just, like, wanted to maybe, you know, talk about the, uh, filler words or whatever?”

Miles Carter

Oh, that was brutal, Imani. I think I counted at least four “likes” and a “whatever” in there. I almost wanted to hand you a buzzer. Or maybe a medal for Most Fillers in Under Ten Seconds.

Imani Rhodes

I’ll take the medal, But seriously, this is what we’re talking about today—how those little words, the “justs,” the “likes,” the “whatevers,” they sneak in and drain your power. And it’s not only us saying that. There’s real science behind it.

Miles Carter

Yeah, Stanford and The University of Texas both did studies on this. They found that when you use fewer fillers, people rate you as more confident, more competent, and more trustworthy—even if you’re saying the exact same thing. You could have the same message, but if you drop the “I just think maybe we should,” suddenly you sound like you know what you’re doing.

Imani Rhodes

And it’s not about sounding smart. It’s about trust. Especially if you’re leading a team, or you’re in front of a client, or you’re interviewing for a job. Too many fillers, and people start to wonder if you’re sure of yourself. I learned that the hard way. Early in my HR days, I was the queen of “just.” I’d be in these tough conversations, and I’d say, “I just wanted to check in,” or “I just think maybe we could…” It was like I was apologizing for existing. One time, I actually said, “I just, like, wanted to maybe talk about my, um, performance, or whatever.” The look on the manager’s face—he was so confused, I think he thought I was about to fire myself.

Miles Carter

Wait, did you actually say “or whatever” in a performance review?

Imani Rhodes

I did! I wanted to crawl under the table. But that was the moment I realized—these words weren’t helping me. They were just covering up my nerves. Once I started dropping them, my whole presence changed. People listened. I felt more in control. It was like, “Oh, this is what it feels like to truly lead the room.”

Miles Carter

And that’s the thing. Fillers aren’t evil, but when they become your default, they leak your power. It’s like trying to run a meeting with a slow Wi-Fi connection—nobody trusts it, and everyone’s just waiting for you to freeze.

Imani Rhodes

That’s a terrible analogy, but we're keeping it. So, if you’re listening and thinking, “I do this all the time,” you’re not alone. But you can change. And it’s actually kind of fun once you start catching yourself.

Miles Carter

So, let’s talk about what to do instead. Because if you just try to stop saying “like” or “just,” your brain will panic and fill the space with... well, more panic. The trick is to replace those fillers with something way more powerful: silence.

Imani Rhodes

Ooh, the dramatic pause. We talked about that in Chapter 5, the secret weapon of every great speaker. It’s like giving your words a little velvet rope—only the important stuff gets through.

Miles Carter

Exactly. And the book “Talk Like TED” breaks down how the best speakers use pauses to let their ideas land. And Michael Erard’s book—“Um…: Slips, Stumbles, and Verbal Blunders”—shows that even the pros mess up, but they use silence as a tool, not a gap. Let’s do a quick roleplay. I’ll do the “bad” version first. Ready?

Imani Rhodes

Um, -yeah.

Miles Carter

Good one. Okay, here’s the filler-heavy pitch: “I just, like, think maybe we could, you know, try the new software, or whatever, if that’s okay?”

Imani Rhodes

Ooo. That’s a lot of hedging. My confidence in you just dropped by 30%.

Miles Carter

Now, here’s the clean version: “Let’s try the new software. It’ll help us move faster.” -See the difference?

Imani Rhodes

Night and day. You went from “maybe” to “let’s go.” All you did was drop the fluff and let the pause do the work. Okay, my turn. I’ll try the “Kill It & Say It Clean” exercise. Give me a sentence to fix.

Miles Carter

Alright. Here’s a classic: “I’m, like, totally sure it’s literally a software issue, I think we can probably fix it…”

Imani Rhodes

Okay, let me try: “This is a software issue. Let me walk you through a fix.”

Miles Carter

That’s it. And you didn’t sound robotic—you sounded clear. That’s what we’re after. Not perfection, just presence. And if you mess up, just pause. Let the silence do the heavy lifting.

Imani Rhodes

And sometimes the pause is the most memorable part. It’s like the drop in a song. People lean in. They remember what you said next. So, if you’re listening, try this: next time you want to say “just” or “like,” stop. Breathe. Let the pause speak for you.

Imani Rhodes

“Alright, time for a little verbal strength training—we call this next segment…”Kill the Fill"

Miles Carter

This is your quick hit, rapid-fire, zero-fluff warmup to clean up how you speak—on the job, in the meeting, or at happy hour. Here’s how it works: I say the flimsy, filler-filled version, and Imani hits back with the confident, cleaned-up pro version. Then we flip it. No prep, no mercy.

Imani Rhodes

And —you listening in the car, at home, or in the breakroom—we want you to try it too. Speak it out loud. Sound dumb now so you can sound sharp when it counts. Let’s go.

Miles Carter

“I’m like, not totally sure, but I think maybe we could do that thing today?”

Imani Rhodes

“Let’s get it done today. I’ll confirm details after lunch.” -Boom. Clean.

Miles Carter

“I just, I mean, I kinda didn’t want to overstep, but maybe we could like—”

Imani Rhodes

“Here’s my idea. Let me know if there’s a better way.”

Miles Carter

OKAY. Round two. Your turn to go Gen Z filler fail. Let’s hear your worst.

Imani Rhodes

“Lowkey, I was literally just gonna say that, but um, it’s not even that deep, so like—whatever, I guess.”

Miles Carter

-“Let’s align on the main goal and move forward.”

Imani Rhodes

Picture this. You're on a jobsite, and your lead says: “I just feel like maybe it’s kinda safer to do it that way… or whatever.”

Miles Carter

That’s not safety. That’s soft-serve confidence.

Imani Rhodes

Let’s break it down. When people say:“

Imani Rhodes

I just think…”it means- “Please don’t yell at me.”

Imani Rhodes

“Whatever.” means “I give up but don’t want to admit it.”“

Imani Rhodes

Kinda…” means “I’m afraid to commit to this thought.”

Imani Rhodes

“It’s, like, hard to explain…” means “I didn’t prepare.”

Miles Carter

FACTS. And my favorite: - “I’m literally dead.”

Imani Rhodes

Perfect.

Miles Carter

So, here’s your action item: Pick your top filler. Tell your crew, your coworkers, or your cat, “I’m breaking up with ‘Umm.’ -Hold me accountable. Say,” I'll give you a dollar for every um. That’s how you make it stick.

Imani Rhodes

Remember, confidence doesn’t always shout—but it never shrinks. Say what you mean. Drop the fluff. And if you mess up, just blame your past self and keep practicing. We’re not here to sound perfect—we’re here to sound real, clear, and ready to lead. So do the action items, share your wins and let’s help each other grow. And If you’ve been watching RJ’s raw videos in the additional resources, you heard quite a few “ums” in the first-few - hopefully he has those cleaned up by now, that’s the kind of practice that will help you improve.

Miles Carter

And to everyone listening—go practice, go play, and go post. We’ll see you in the community.