Chapter 31 - Your Reputation Arrives Before You Do

Imani Rhodes

Alright, Miles, let me hit you with this—imagine you walk into a room, résumé in hand, credentials all shiny, but the only thing people remember is how they felt the last time you were there. Not what you did, not your title, but the feeling you left behind. I call it the “unseen résumé.” You know, there’s the one you type up, and then there’s the one people talk about when you’re not around. Which one do you think actually serves you?

Miles Carter

Yeah, your reputation is everything. I’ve seen it in the trades, in boardrooms, everywhere. You can have all the certifications in the world, but if the last thing people remember is you leaving a mess or throwing someone under the bus, that’s what sticks. . And I think most people underestimate just how fast that noise travels.

Imani Rhodes

Exactly. There’s this research from Ambady and Rosenthal at Harvard—thin-slicing, they call it. People make snap judgments about your character and trustworthiness in, about 30 seconds. Sometimes less. It’s not even about what you say, it’s your eye contact, your tone, the way you greet someone. That’s the stuff that lingers. Your résumé or skills might open a door, but your reputation decides if they keep it open.

Miles Carter

And it’s not just theory. I remember this admin at a jobsite—quiet, always stayed late to prep tomorrow’s reports, never made a big deal about it. The team started calling them the “quiet MVP.” Meanwhile, the loud, high-performing person? Missed details, left others scrambling. Guess who got the next promotion? It wasn’t the one with the flashiest résumé or college credentials, it was the one people trusted to make their day smoother.

Imani Rhodes

That’s the thing—quiet respect leaves a louder impression than loud talk. Susan Cain talks about this in “Quiet.” You don’t need a megaphone, you need consistency. And honestly, the people you trust the most? You probably can’t even name their biggest accomplishments, but you can describe how they made you feel. That’s the real résumé, right there.

Miles Carter

Yeah, and it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. I always say, “Clean up your name like you clean up your tools.” Every little interaction is a deposit or a withdrawal from your reputation account. And most of the time, you don’t even know the balance until you need it.

Miles Carter

So let’s talk about what actually travels faster than facts. I mean, you can be technically exceptional, but if you’re hard to work with, people remember that way more than your skills. There’s this University of Maryland study—collaboration, dependability, humility. Those are the traits that get people promoted, not just raw performance. And it’s wild, because references from peers matter more than from bosses now.

Imani Rhodes

Absolutely. And it’s those gray-area moments that really stick. Like, picture two team leads after a tough project. One blames everyone else for the delays, the other just calmly owns their part and thanks the crew. Who do you think gets the call for the next big client? People don’t share job titles, they share how you handled stress.

Miles Carter

Let’s do a quick roleplay. Imagine you’re in a debrief, and things went sideways. You can either play the blame game—“It wasn’t my fault, the vendor dropped the ball”—or you can say, “Hey, I missed something, but here’s what I learned.” That second one? That’s the person people want on their team. That’s the reputation that gets you invited back.

Imani Rhodes

And it’s not just about big moments. I call it the “morning echo.” Every day, you show up and you’re either stacking up small acts of respect or you’re chipping away at trust. Like, the person who resets the tool area without a word, or just says good morning and means it. That stuff compounds. There’s research—Deloitte found 70% of workers avoid working with someone again just because of how they were treated, even if that person was good at their job. That’s huge.

Miles Carter

Yeah, and it’s not just in the trades. In tech, the engineer who explains things without condescension? They become the go-to, even if they’re not the smartest in the room. People are three times more likely to refer someone who’s easy to work with over someone who’s technically exceptional. That’s HBR, not just my opinion. So, your reputation is a memory of how you made others feel under pressure. That’s what travels. That’s what gets you mentioned in the network.

Imani Rhodes

And remember this. It takes five to ten positive interactions to undo one negative one. So, every little moment matters. The next opportunity is always listening in. Your name is your brand—treat it like your most valuable tool.

Imani Rhodes

Alright, let’s get practical. How do you actually shape your echo? It’s not about being the most competent, it’s about being consistent. Brené Brown calls it “sliding door moments”—the small, almost invisible choices that build trust over time. Would you be hired again if your last coworker was your only reference? That’s the real test. Are you the person people want to work with again, or the one they avoid?

Miles Carter

Let’s do another roleplay. Imagine you’re the tech on a jobsite. You finish up, and the vendor tells your manager, “That was the most respectful person I’ve dealt with all year.” You don’t even know it, but that moment just started a promotion conversation. Or flip it—someone says, “Don’t put Alex with me again, they’re sloppy and talk trash.” That’s the echo. That’s what shapes your next shot.

Imani Rhodes

And it’s not just about avoiding mistakes. It’s about showing up, every day, with presence and kindness. Adam Grant talks about “givers”—the people who build reputation capital by helping first, not just performing. Your name is already in the room, so make sure it’s saying the right thing. Be the person who makes others say, “Yeah, I’d work with them again.”

Miles Carter

So here’s your action item—start tomorrow. Pick one habit that shapes your reputation. Maybe it’s saying good morning and actually meaning it. Maybe it’s owning your mistakes in the moment. Or maybe it’s just helping someone out without being asked. And then, share it. Post in the community—what’s one habit you’re starting this week to improve your silent résumé? Or tell a story about someone whose quiet excellence left a mark on you. That’s how we all get better.

Imani Rhodes

And remember, action items make change real. Don’t just listen—do. Share your story, comment, connect. That’s how you build a ripple that sticks in the real world. We want you to be the best version of yourself, and it starts with the habits that speak when you’re not in the room.

Miles Carter

We’ll see you in the comments, and in the next episode. Take care.