Chapter 14 - Control the Controllables, Forget the Noise

Imani Rhodes

There’s this story I read about from Navy SEAL training that stuck with me. A recruit is shivering in freezing surf, waves crashing, toes numb. The instructor walks over and says, “You can’t control the ocean. But you can control your breath. Do that, and you’ll stay in the fight.” Miles, today we’re digging into a mindset that flips the script on stress. You ready to talk about controlling the controllables—and letting the rest be noise?

Miles Carter

Absolutely. You know I love a good framework, and this one’s foundational. So, let’s start with the basics: locus of control. Julian Rotter, back in the sixties, basically said people fall into two camps—those who believe their actions shape outcomes, and those who think life just happens to them. And, I mean, the research is clear: folks with an internal locus of control—who believe they can influence things—tend to be more resilient, perform better, and are just, well, happier at work.

Imani Rhodes

Yeah, and it’s not just theory. You see it in the way top leaders operate. Like, Satya Nadella at Microsoft? He meditates daily and reviews his intent versus outcome. Sara Blakely journals every morning. These aren’t just “nice to haves”—they’re rituals that anchor you in what you can actually influence. I think about it like, if you’re an H-VAC tech, you can’t control the weather, but you can prep your truck, check your tools, and clarify what the client needs before you even show up. That’s power.

Miles Carter

Exactly. And Covey’s “Circle of Control” is basically the cheat code here. Your attitude, your effort, your prep—that’s your toolbox. The economy, your coworker’s mood, company politics? That’s outside. If it doesn’t fit in your toolbox, don’t carry it. I use that line with my team all the time, and it sticks. We've created a really good game to practice this, we'll put it in the additional resources.

Imani Rhodes

Yes, the game illustrates “Circle of Control” in an interactive way. Love it. And this really hits home for me. As a writer I used to take rejection so personally—like, every “no” or "critical feedback" was a referendum on my worth. But over time, I realized, I can’t control editors or trends. What I can control is what I do with feedback, how much I write, how I revise, how I show up for the next submission. Rejection became redirection. That’s the shift—from external to internal control. And it’s not just about feeling better, it’s about actually getting better at what matters.

Miles Carter

That’s so good. And it’s funny, because in our last couple episodes, we talked about how intentional language can shift team dynamics. This is the mindset behind that. If you believe your words and actions matter, you show up differently. You lead differently. It’s not about being loud, it’s about being clear on what you own.

Miles Carter

So, now that you know focusing on what you can control is key and why, let’s get practical. How do we execute on the controllables. There’s this myth that multitasking is a badge of honor, but cognitive load theory—John Sweller’s work—shows we only have so much mental bandwidth. When you-try-to-juggle-everything, you end up painting with a firehose. It’s messy, it’s stressful, and you get less done.

Imani Rhodes

That’s such a visual, Miles. I’m picturing paint everywhere. A mess. But it’s true—studies show that if you just focus on one key priority per hour, your performance can jump by up to 70%. And it’s not just theory; military elites and CEOs live this. Navy SEALs use the BREATHE method—Breathe, Review, Evaluate, Align, Take action, Halt to assess, Execute. It’s all about narrowing focus in chaos.

Miles Carter

Yeah, and Tim Cook wakes up at 3:45 AM to review emails and prep his day. That’s pre-control. Sara Blakely journals. Satya Nadella meditates. These routines aren’t about being superhuman—they’re about protecting your bandwidth. And, I’ll share a quick exercise I use with clients: I have them draw a circle on a sheet of paper. Inside the circle, write what you can control this week—your top three. Outside, write what’s bugging you but isn’t yours to own. Every time you feel overwhelmed, check this page. If it’s not in the circle, let it go. It’s simple, but it works.

Imani Rhodes

That’s so actionable. And it reminds me of something we touched on in our “Words That Raise the Room” episode—how clarity in language leads to clarity in action. When you know your one thing, you can communicate it, delegate it, and actually move the needle. Otherwise, you’re just reacting to noise.

Miles Carter

Totally. And, look, even the best get hijacked by distractions. But the difference is, they have systems to reset. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being intentional. And if you’re listening and thinking, “I’m not a CEO or a Navy SEAL,”—doesn’t matter. This works for the warehouse manager, the server, the field tech, the nurse, the basketball player. It’s universal.

Imani Rhodes

So, let’s talk about resets. Mindfulness gets a bad rap sometimes—like, people picture incense and chanting. But really, it’s just strategic presence. Harvard studies show that even ten minutes of intentional mental prep can boost productivity and cut stress. No yoga mat required.

Miles Carter

Yeah, and elite performers use this all the time. Pilots, for example, have pre-flight rituals—breathwork, visualization, reciting their values. I actually borrowed from a Navy pilot’s focus routine after a string of tough meetings. Now, before I walk into a high-stakes conversation, I take a minute, breathe, and ask myself, “What’s the one thing I can control in this room?” It’s a game changer.

Imani Rhodes

That’s so real. And it ties into Coach K’s “Next Play” mindset—don’t ruminate, reset. The last play is over. What’s the next one? It’s not about bouncing back, it’s about bouncing forward. I’ve seen this in action—like, when a project goes sideways, you can spend hours rehashing what went wrong, or you can focus on the next step you can actually take. That’s emotional discipline, and honestly, it’s a form of self-respect.

Miles Carter

And it’s not just for the big stuff. Even in the day-to-day—like, if you’re late to a client because of traffic, you can’t control the delay, but you can own your response. You can show respect for their time by calling and letting them know, you can adjust the plan: “Here’s what we’ll do to catch up.” That’s control. That’s leadership. And, Imani, I think that’s the thread through everything we’ve talked about—whether it’s language, mindset, or habits, it all comes back to owning your inputs and letting the noise go.

Imani Rhodes

Absolutely. So, if you take one thing from today, let it be this: what you focus on grows. Control your effort, your energy, your tone, your prep. That’s where your power lives. Don’t let the noise rent space in your head rent-free. And hey, if you try any of these tools, let us know in the Community Feed —share the one thing you chose to control today. We’re all building these reps together.

Miles Carter

One -hundred-percent. Thanks for listening, everyone. We’ll be back in the next chapter with more tools and stories to help you lead with intention.

Imani Rhodes

Looking forward to chapter 15- - see you there.